My identity is really fuzzy right now. I did that on purpose - i said yes, i want to not be bound by previous perceptions of myself held by me and others." but it gets weird in everyday life. Like, what music do i want to listen to? when i'm at a video store, what movie boxes do i pick up to look at? If i see a bunch of ants attacking a worm on a sidewalk, do i smash the whole scene or let nature be? what do I like any more, and what do i want?

Some days it seems crystal clear, and others, not so much.
Sometimes i am also dependent on dance. I draw all of this happiness and purpose from it. It is a bit of a weight to draw from something, like making choreography be jesus christ or something.

I wish there was a process like language acquisition that i could undergo to add versatile layers to myself, until i am a rock. A multifaceted shiny rock that can stand erosion, a resting spot that can support others, but i won't need any other support other than myself. CAUSE I'LL BE A FRIKKIN ROCK.

A ROCK.

dump trucks,
Caitlin